in my moments of deepest fear
I turn to find myself face to face with a terrified God,
& a terrified humanity
and then one day i was too afraid to jump off the high dive.
this simple story, like all stories, points to a larger story—
what is this larger story?
on a good day I would say:
that our fears are meant to turn us toward each other.
that all things are meant to turn us toward one another—
On a bad day I would say that the larger story is:
we are all doomed.
One day i tried to jump off the high dive.
but i got too scared.
—couldn’t do it.
One day I was too afraid.
one day—every day,
i am afraid.
In my moment of fear,
in all my moments of deep fear,
I turned to find myself face to face with a terrified God,
a terrified world,
—our fears are not meant to be conquered,
they are to be cherished.
but here in the raging waters of our deepest terrors—
no we drown.
our fear and terror pull us to the heart of all hearts,
and the heart of all hearts—
i think it’s just a group of terrified humans trying to love
even in all the fear.
here in our terror
we reach the end of god—————.
ad the end of god is where our lives begin,
and our lives begin and end in fear,
and frankly i’m too scared to jump off the high dive.
frankly, i am just so afraid.
May you be baptized in the tears of your loss,
May you be washed in the waters of fear,
you will indeed drown,
but in your death,
in your fear
you will find the only salvation:
humanity afraid together.
Go ahead and drown—
deep down here
you will find—
and the only thing we have to offer is our fear.
the only thing we have to say:
we are afraid too.
So we might as well be afraid together.